Amelia James Poetry

I loved you like it was my damn job—
the kind of love that scars,
the kind of love that wraps its arms around your neck
and refuses to let go.

I held you like you were the last thing I’d ever touch,
and somehow, you became the first thing I’d lose.

I loved you in every corner of my mind,
where shadows followed us around,
whispering lies I chose to believe
because the truth was too brutal.
I loved you through every betrayal,
every silence,
every moment where you made me feel
like I was a ghost in your life,
a ghost you never cared to see.

You took everything I had
and made me think it wasn’t enough.
Made me wonder
if maybe love was just a cruel joke
I wasn’t meant to get.

And here I am—
still waiting for the punchline.
I loved you like my heart was made of glass,
knowing the cracks were inevitable,
but still pretending you could fix me.
I loved you when you wouldn’t even try to see me,
when you shut your eyes
and let me drown in my own tears.

You ripped me open,
and I begged for you to stay—
but instead, you left me bleeding on the floor,
wondering why love could feel so much
like suffocating in silence.

And still, after everything,
I’m here.
Staring at the wreckage you left behind,
and holding on to the pieces
like they’re all I have left.

I loved you with the kind of devotion
that twists into desperation.
I loved you with everything in me
and you used it to tear me apart.
And somehow, you walked away
like I was nothing.

But I’m still here.
Still loving you,
still aching for the love you promised me,
still wishing I could have the life
you promised,
the life that was never mine,
no matter how hard I tried.

I loved you so much it bled.
I gave you everything
and you gave me nothing but silence.
Nothing but lies.
Nothing but the broken pieces of a future
you never cared about.

And now, I’m standing here,
fighting to breathe through the wounds
you left on my chest.
Fighting to believe I’ll ever be okay,
fighting to hold on to any shred of me
that isn’t tangled up in you.

I loved you,
and maybe that’s the one thing
I’ll never get over.

I loved you with everything
I could never take back.
And no matter how many years pass,
no matter how many times I tell myself
I’m done,
I’ll never stop carrying the weight
of a love you couldn’t ever see
for what it was.

-Amelia James