she knew it was burning
but she called it light—
swore if she stood still long enough
he might learn how to hold her
without hurting
she read every silence
like scripture
every lie
like a maybe
every almost
like hope
people said
“you should’ve left”
but they never knew
how he looked at her
when he was being good
how the idea of him
felt like the safest place
she had ever known
she wasn’t stupid—
she was in love
the kind that digs roots
in poisoned soil
and calls it forever
because it doesn’t know
anything else
she stayed
long after her heart had stopped
beating for herself
long after her voice
had gone hoarse
from screaming inside
a smile
and maybe the saddest part
is not that she stayed—
but that she would do it
again
if it meant he’d finally
choose her
-Amelia James
Amelia James Poetry 
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