Amelia James Poetry

i wish she had seen
there was a person
on the other side of the screen—
someone who read every word
and felt it
like it was meant to bruise.

i knew she hated me
long before she said it.
the silence told me first.
the look in her eyes
when we passed in the hallway
told me again.
and the messages—
they just confirmed
what my body already knew.

that’s when i stopped hoping
she might see the good in me.
that’s when i started
splitting myself into pieces,
just to find the one
she thought deserved her rage.

every time i walked past her,
it felt like the room dropped
ten degrees.
i would hold my face still,
bite the inside of my cheek,
keep the tears
behind my eyes.
maybe she thought
that meant i didn’t feel anything.
maybe she mistook heartbreak
for hate.

i never hated her.
i just couldn’t understand
how someone could look at me
and see so little.

we were two girls
fighting over a boy
who wasn’t telling either of us the truth.
he promised me a future
while whispering to her
behind my back.

and somehow,
i became the enemy.

i offered the truth
in plain text.
not to win,
but to clear the air.
but she chose the version of the story
where i was the villain,
where my grief
was attention-seeking,
where she threw stones
and still got to play innocent.

she got to walk away.
clean hands.
a quiet ending.
peace.

and me?
i’m still here.
still holding the pieces
of a version of myself
i barely recognize.

i had to bury
the softness
that trusted too easily.
i miss her
every day.

if someone had believed me,
maybe it would’ve changed things.
maybe accountability
would’ve replaced silence.
maybe the story
would’ve been different.

instead,
i was cast
as the dramatic one.
the jealous one.
the problem.
and no one asked
what made me that way.

i spent 13 years
trying to find
the offense
that made me
so easy to hate.

but there wasn’t one.

i lost so much
over a relationship
that wasn’t even worth
the damage it caused.

and that’s the part
that still hurts the most.

-Amelia James